Old Work Inspiring New Work

I just had my hard drive from my old broken laptop transferred to a brand new machine, and as a result, I got all my old pictures back. In looking at some of my older work, I realized that there is a lot there that I want to get back to. Something about the reality and straightforwardness in some of the figures made me really excited, and I'm hoping to make some new work inspired by my older work.

soft ground etching 22x30"

ink and pastel on paper 22x30"

charcoal and acrylic on masonite

linoleum print

gouache and paint from tibet

It's a little known fact that I did learn how to do paintings of deities in Tibet from Monks who didn't speak very much English. It's not really my usual thing, but they were lovely to work with and it was a lot of fun to learn.

I also used to assist a biological illustration class for kids, and almost went into medical illustration. I still have the urge to become a tattoo artist sometimes, and this work seems to relate to that desire more.

Ariel

My princesses are slowly all finding their homes.
"Ariel" has just sold.

Ariel, oil on wood panel, 3x4'

Love and Resentment

                                                 (new painting in progress)

I've been thinking a lot about where I keep my emotions in my body, and how crazy it is that we can bury resentments in our organs and connective tissues. I've been realizing just how much a quiet angry child can store in there, and how is seeps out in unexplained discomfort and uneasiness. I've been thinking about defenses, and how it feels when something has gotten in and realized you were just a sack full of organs; realized that there was no magic or mystery there. Like rotting inside, like worms in your guts, like someone getting too close and trying to open you up for the world to see. Like having a camera snaked through your bellybutton, and having your inflamed appendix removed. Like being examined in front of a room full of family members and strangers. Like being 15 and unconscious on an operating table you'll never remember. There is an anger in me that requires extreme reserve or extreme gluttony. It makes me feel like Saturn devouring his children. I think Goya showed it best-

                                                    Goya, Saturn Devouring His Son (1819)

SHOW IN PITTSBURG

I will be showing several of my small paintings in Pittsburg next week in the show-"Art of Consciousness: Creative Expressions of Spirit" on July 2nd at the International Children's Art Gallery (5020 Penn Avenue). Anyone in that area please check it out!

Drawing in Mirrors

Imaginary Mother

Sometimes when I'm working, I get a phrase stuck in my head, and with the left piece the phrase has been "imaginary mother". It might end up being the title of the piece, or inspiring the title, but we'll see. I see these pieces as mother and daughter.

As my twenties roll on I start feeling the tightening of my reproductive organs, threatening to strangle me if I go another month without reproducing. It's making me think a lot about my life in big, long-term ways. My mind works like this: if you really like something about your life, it'll just be like that until you die. You may as well just fast-forward to the end.
That makes me antsy and makes me question everything.
The imaginary mother isn't comfortable with being done yet.

Self-portraits

Self Portrait, 30"x44" pen and watercolor on paper- in progess

I am the model in almost all of my work, but I don't consider most of my pieces to be self-portraits. Usually I'm trying to embody a feeling in my art, and looking at myself helps to take me where I want to go with the piece. I think the human body can hold a great deal of emotion, and that is interesting.
A few days ago the drawing I was working on gave birth- a piece of paper came out from under the drawing after I had been working on it for several weeks. I starting this piece with the urge to draw something more real- maybe draw more like I know what I'm doing. The piece I have been working on is messy and frustrating, so I began the new daughter-drawing. After a few minutes I realized that I wasn't using myself as a tool in this drawing, I was drawing myself. It's distinctly different, and I like the piece very much. It makes me excited about drawing. I could write volumes about myself and the flesh and the blood and the eyes, but I'll try to let the drawing speak for itself for a while.